Congratulations, reader! After so many months of miraculous recovery and therapy, caused by that horrifying incident of having your house explode via plane–sized projectiles, you are finally one hundred percent recovered! Naturally, none of this would have been possible without the medical expertise of that unlicensed doctor your friends found while surfing /b/.

Of course, all of this wouldn’t have happened if you had gotten that plane-crashing-into-house insurance in the first place.

To top it off, that strange but brilliant doctor only charged you twenty-five bucks for the entire procedure and recovery! Looks like you didn’t have to do all that fundraising after all. To celebrate your good fortune, you have decided to fulfill one of your biggest dreams, and make way to the land of the Rising Sun –Japan!

Also home to a good portion of Rule 34 contributors.

You spend your vacation having the time of your life, until one day you collapse for unknown reasons while running around in Akihabara. When you finally wake up in the hospital, a nurse and a translator are there waiting to tell you that you have developed a completely new heart condition. However, the best the hospital can do is to help pay for the flight home, due to that fact that the hospital cannot care for someone in your condition. Just before the nurse can continue another doctor rushes into the room and says:

Don’t listen to these fools; they’re towing the hospital line. Nobody wants to deal with your case because not only is it expensive, but you are a foreigner –who cares about you? But, I’d be willing to help… if you’re willing to take the risk.

And then he gives you that smile that says: “Like you have any say in the matter.”

Several days ago, I celebrated my 22^nd birthday, readers. And like most birthdays, it paled in comparison to previous ones while reminding me of how much older I’ve become.

Remember this place? Remember how awesome it was? Remember how after this, every other birthday sucked?

I’m only 22 though, and even though my diet is slowly but surely making its way to a prune based end – I still have time to make something out of myself. Climb mountains, travel the world, make new discoveries, moon the social elite – because we’re all aiming for that particular trophy : “Achievement unlocked – Bucket List completed.” I’ve still got time… until I turn 28. Then I’m screwed.

Okay, I’ve already nailed number 84 - ”Dedicate my life to comics.” I’ll most likely have number 324 - “Have a respectable career” when I turn twenty-six… Probably will have to write off number 1,986 - “Turn into a jet and fly into the sun like a boss” Achievement. Awww.

Iwamaki Rikitarou has hit that point, ladies and gentlemen. At age 28 he has achieved his true goal in life – absolute freedom! Freedom to live his life any way he wants it, any way he needs it! And yet, all that freedom is failing him right now. His girlfriend is fed up with his laziness and wants to leave him, his band mates don’t respect him and to top it off his dream of becoming a rock star is all but done. (Apparently all great rock stars die between twenty six and twenty eight. Go figure.) Cursing the world and the fate he has been dealt, Rikitarou does what any slacker does – gets wasted. And like most binge drinking runs, he gets into a fight where he is hopeless out classed. With his life flashing in front of his eyes, Rikitarou does the only thing any man with self worth can do…